This poster ALMOST says it all. But I ran out of room to list all of Nero's inanely stupid behavior and motivations. I also couldn't find a font where the zero's matched the ones used on the release date. Oh well.
Yes. I determined that Nero doesn't wait a mere 28 years, he waits 38. Thirty fucking eight. I could be wrong though, I refuse to buy the DVD on principle, I don't wanna pirate it either. I mean, imagine being so unlucky as to get busted for it, and it's a movie I detest? No. Besides I don't want it on my computer, and I don't want to ruin a DVD, it's more entertaining and mentally stimulating if I leave it blank.
Anyway, yah. 38 years.
Again I could be wrong and though that poster sums it up, let me break it down and I'll be happy to correct myself if anyone can clarify.
Nero shows up in the past; Kirk is born (at the wrong time in the wrong place).
Flash forward to Kirks wanton destruction of historical artifacts, neatly mirroring Orci's, Kurtzman's and Abrams' destruction of Trek itself.
When he drives the car off the cliff (into a gorge sized quarry) I figure he must be AT LEAST 10 years old. Then after an interlude where we see Vulcans logically hating a halfbreed and calling his mother a whore; we get the infamous '25 years later' fade.
Now, anyone who's watched Transformers 2 knows that Orci and Kurtzman obviously failed 3rd grade math because in that movie they make it clear that they think 5-1+1=6. But, in an arguably simpler equation 10+25=35, and that actually manages to be true in base 10.
At this point we see barhopping date rapist Kirk (who logic dictates is at least 35... unmarried and going to bars... what else does logic say about him?) get dared into going to Starfleet Academy... we then get another message that tells us 3 years have passed.
Follow along. 10+25+3= 38. Still true, still in base 10.
38 years pass before the actual action of the ... it pains me to say this word in reference to this movie... plot... ugh... gets underway.
Now, even if Orci and Kurzmans excuse for Nero's procrastination REALLY IS that he and his crew were captured by Klingons and thrown in Rura Penthe (which raises more questions than it answers, particularly since it doesn't actually manage to answer any), the two have stated, on record, that Nero and crew were imprisoned for 25 years.
Follow me again through the simple math. 38-25=13. There are still 13 years unaccounted for.
And this is assuming Kirk was only 10. He could've been younger... but, personally I think even 10 stretched credulity, as far as a child being able to drive that car is concerned. Never mind where they got the gas or why his step dad kept it's tank full.
Posts
